Let it be alive!

•June 10, 2018 • Leave a Comment

Writer’s block it is? No it wasn’t, it isn’t. It’s just that I haven’t given much time to write anything unless I have to write as a part of my work or currently as an assignment. But this one isn’t my assignment. This is my platform where I haven’t been from a long time. There is this famous phrase in Nepali- ‘Najik ko Tirtha Hela’ which means which means ‘The value of things when we use regularly is diminished. The blog which opened my door to the world of writing has been the ignored part of my life. It gave me an opportunity to publish my feelings when I put it in words and out of my heart.20180527_120429

I have so many words in my mind, so many stories that I want to convert in to the words and publish a book someday. I have been through such an amazing journey of life. The journey allowed me to meet so many interesting good and bad people in my life. I know if only I had put these stories in to words and typed it on my computer; I could have become a writer already. Am I writer? Am I a story teller? I might.

This is the time of my life when I am gathering all my efforts to invest time on myself. Being far from my soul, my home land, my friends and family, I can’t, I don’t want to waste my time being homesick but rather use this time to invest on self. What do I really want to invest my time on then? Is it my personality? But it just comes from the experience. No? I want to write, I want to learn how to put my feelings in to words, I want to learn the words to express my feelings.

Is it the right time to gather my stories at one place and write it down? By the end of this short journey, will I be able to make my stories visible to other in words? Shall I do that? Is the story teller that was born and suppressed inside my heart and mind too tired of being inside? Is it the time to let the door open and let it roam around in the world through the words that I need to find to show it off? I think this is the time when I need to give time to self. This is the time to explore the inner me when I am exploring the world outside too.

This is the time and I am so much in rush. This is the time and I am so much willing to let it come out. I am trying to match it with the right words20180527_110400 and let it go out in the air so that it will be there forever even when I do not exist. I want these stories to remain alive and let somebody read it just like the story that I recently read that B.P. Koirala had written in 1964 when he was in the Jail. Can you believe, he wrote ModiAayin in 3 days in 1964 and I happened to read it in 3 days (during my regular Bus/Metro time) in 3 days in 2018? Isn’t it great when you remain through the words that you choose to express and when you give life to the stories that might die inside you?

It’s not that I haven’t tried. I have tried once or twice a year but that remained limited in trying only. I need to inspire myself which I had stopped in between. I want to try now and try trying until I realize if I succeeded to try trying or not.

Until then.



Happy New Year!(again)

•December 29, 2016 • 6 Comments

So, I decided to write. I don’t know what’s my motivation to make me get up from the bed, move my lazy parking (you know what I mean) and hold that pen and get me started writing. I had decided long ago to return to writing.  It seems like I am only action oriented when its new year eve. I might be thinking that the year is ending without me writing anything. So, I tried to write at least a paragraph.

I had promised myself back then, that I would start writing again. I promise, I wrote many stories. I wrote stories of love, pain, hate, depression, breakup, motivation, success, failure, frustration, society, people and what not. Trust me, I wrote whole bunch of books. I don’t know what motivated me to write those stories but these stories were just written, published inside my heart and mind only.

I choose words to make stories, choose words to share stories, choose words to write stories. I don’t know where and how I get these words and the plot of the story. What do I need to get out of the bed to take that laptop that has been stored in the desk next to my bed from last 3 years? Why didn’t I open the damn laptop and open the MS word and actually start typing? These words were trying to tear up my skin to come out to the world and I was just pushing it back to the place where it came from.

I have forgotten already, how my words portrayed the exact pain, exact revolution, the real face, the painful truth, the voice of the voice less. It’s not that these words have died inside me, it’s just that I was hiding, I was trying to run away, I was making excuses, I was just trying to run away from writing. OMG!

But I must say, in 2016, I wrote few poems. I hadn’t written any poems since years and I am very happy that I wrote some this year. Whenever I thought about writing poems, I felt like my word stock is over already. But this year, somehow, I wrote some poems and don’t ask me what, who and how I wrote poems again after all these f***** years.

To add some more inspiration here, I went to shopping streets to buy winter boots last week. I looked at many places and I didn’t find any boots that I liked. So suddenly I decided to go to this bookstore near by Jamal in Kathmandu to buy some books. I spent an hour but I didn’t know what books should I buy. I read 3 Nepali books in 2016(only books I read in 2016). So, I had no freaking idea what books should I actually read. I called my bookworm friend and asked which books should I buy. He gave me loooooooong list of good books. Well I could only afford two of them and I hope I can start reading it as soon as possible and make my ‘Happy New Year’.
Happy New Year!! F*** it’s exactly after 2 years I am posting anything on my blog.





2014 in review

•January 1, 2015 • Leave a Comment

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 670 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 11 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Starting over

•November 18, 2014 • 6 Comments

I had written this on my mind earlier, believe me! But I just didn’t bother to type it on my computer and post it to my blog. I have always loved writing. As someone has said, not all people can write, not all people can change their feelings, experiences and perspective into words. That’s why there are still readers who want me to write. I have got comments my readers that they enjoy how I write even if it is about just a simple thing. As I had almost stopped writing and I was too reluctant to start writing again I want to see how my writings have changed in years.photo source;unknown/google

Early writing- No doubt, most of the writers begin their journey from writing their diaries. I did the same but my writing consisted of poems, essays and articles on youth, society and development since my school days. Perhaps that had already defined that I was going to work in the social field that too was specifically in youth, women and development issues.

The basics- Well after joining Mass communication and journalism, I was interested into more feature writing and obviously my involvement in community clubs got more active. I was interested in writing about social issues, writing about my perspective on how youth can be the part of development and how development is possible through youth. I was also interested in having career not fully as a journalist but as a communication consultant in any organization and that led me to have a job as a communication and documentation officer in a Youth NGO. But my academic involvement in mass communication and journalism definitely helped to have the basics for my writing.

Exploring- I started my career from a media house; I was not a writer or reporter but working in the marketing photo...department. When I got involved in Rotaract and that gave me enough opportunities to learn leadership skills being involved in different sectors of community and international service, I realized that it’s time for me to change my job to social field and participated in many trainings and seminars in the same field. At the same time I got some online citizen journalism trainings which also gave recognition for the issues that I had raised.

Stopping- No, it was actually not fully stopping but I stopped writing for my blog or for the wider audience to be more accurate. During my master’s degree in South Korea, I wrote many research papers which I had to submit at the end of the semester. I consider it more as a time to explore the issues that always attracted me and it was about gender, international development, migration, peace and conflict, youth and women etc including my thesis on Nepali women migrants in Korea.

photo source:unknwon/googleStarting over -I realize I have ignored too many words that could have been in useful for someone, that could have been idea, inspiration, motivation or may be the realization that they are the better writers hahhaha… I had promised that I would write in a regular basis and also I will make the writings that I have already done more visible so that I don’t get over shadowed. And this is why I think it is starting over my relation with my writing. And these are the beginning lines.

Blogging from Seoul!

•April 10, 2013 • 9 Comments

Well, it’s not only me who is so much concerned about the ongoing issues of North Korea when the rest of the world’s attention is also on North Korea. These days almost every main headline from the measure news media is about North Korea. Every day I check the facebook group of nepali people in south korea, people are talking about it. Some of them have said that they are leaving the country soon and some of them have said they have already left and some of them have said- they are not afraid because they are the sons of Brave Gorkhali 🙂 My daily chores consist one more routine now- to check the news on North Korean issues. However, I don’t find a single difference in people’s lives even in the time when every other news is all about the possible war on Korean peninsula. Life is going as usual and my email inbox are filled with the invitation and confirmation messages from organizations and friends for the scheduled programs.

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You will find it interesting – when I talked about the ongoing issue with my Korean friend, she said that if –“North Korea attacks south then one Giant Robert will come out from the Han River and he will save South Korea”. I know she said it jokingly but it also shows the other part that they have been used to these threats and all from a long time.

Besides this, this is the time to see the beautiful Seoul blossoming all along with the cherries. Ah! I have been so occupied with the political issue that the pictures of cherries don’t even come to my mind : P It really feels like heaven in this season as the cherries has already been decorating the city. We have scheduled to take a glimpse of Cherry blossom next week being indifference to the continuing threat from North Korea. I will update you soon with the hope that things goes all right 🙂

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Behind me…

•January 2, 2013 • 4 Comments

And just like that another new year comes. To be true, I am not so much excited for new year, maybe I don’t have that young heart in me to be excited ^^ hehhe…No! It can’t be. The truth is everyday has been exciting, everyday has brought something that taught me the truth about life and every day I have been grateful. You can’t believe but even in the busiest day of my life, I did managed to take some minutes to go out of my reading room and see the sky, breathe the air, feel the chilled weather and enjoy the coffee ( bit expensive though), appreciate people and help if possible. I thank God for the beautiful nature , the nicest people around me and  giving me the strength to think beyond ‘me’.

2012 was good. There were many opportunities on my way but I had to stick into one for the better reason. Sometimes, you just need to say ‘No’ to the opportunities you get to fulfill the only goal that is most important to you and I did the same. I, myself, am amazed how I have been so calm and so much positive to stick into one opportunity, but I believe this is the best decision. I couldn’t travel to other countries except Korea but I have been to the most beautiful and best places here and enjoyed knowing people, culture and their lives (most importantly- the food 😛 shrrroooppp) and volunteering.



I served people through Rotaract and other means. I helped my Korean friends to practice their English( well, I’m not a native speaker, you know that right?), I shared my leadership experiences with other Rotaract friends in Korea, I exchanged Nepali culture with Korean school kids and I participated in human rights, migrant’s rights rallies and programs. I hope my research on Nepali women migrants will also help to improve their condition in Korea (even a little would be important for me). I shared my experiences living in a country with Maoist Conflict of 10 years among activists who have so much experiences of their activism. I loved meeting these people as I got to be aware of many political, social and economic issues in Asia and the world.

As I always love to learn, I enjoyed learning in 2012 too. I learned about myself (believe me, it’s really important). I learned about my life, my strengths and weaknesses. I could succeed to improve some of those weaknesses and strengthen those strengths more. This year in 2013 too, I hope the opportunities will come and I will be able to grab them for the vision I have and for the reason that I should be grabbing them.

I am thankful for the people who have been inspirations to me, who have helped me to remain inspired, even to those who have been inspired by me 😉 and to whom I am an inspiration 😛 and to also those people who were lil jealous 😉 .

And I am thankful for these words… this is something  more valuable than the awards I have got so far (to be true, I love the awards that have added the beauty in my room and in my life and in my portfolio 🙂 ^^)


P: “You are the inspiration for me to be in Rotaract”



-I am also proud of myself to be a Rotaract member and to be among young aspiring leaders like you. Thank you.

S: “you have helped me to be better person today”

-I don’t know how but you are generous. Thank you.

A: “Don’t forget you are the star”

-Wow, that makes me feel like celeb 😛 but it really helped me to be motivated. Thank you.

M: “even though I am a boy I think about how you have achieved so many things being a girl and I really admire you”

-Ah! That’s the gendered comment. But it’s good that at least you appreciated my work ^^ Thank you.

My D and M: we had never imagined that you could achieve your goals in spite of the struggles and obstacles that you faced. We cannot explain how happy and proud we are to have you as a daughter. Only we know how difficult it was for you to get there. We just wish that the way ahead would be easier for you to achieve your goals.

-I love you mom and dad!


•November 19, 2012 • 8 Comments

(since its world toilet day, i am sharing this article on the menstruation rituals that is practiced in Nepal and the girls who suffer due to lack of toilet in schools…)

Mt. Gaurishankar

Going to school was tough at that time due to the cold temperatures. Snowy in the winter season, there were hardly very hot temperatures even in the summer. This mountain area called Dolakha is where I was born. I developed my first crush on one of the mountains called Mt. Gaurishankar on a beautiful morning when the sunshine kissed the mountain and it glowed like heaven as I had heard in legendary stories about it. Named after the Gauri-goddess and Shankar-god from the Hindu religion, climbing this mountain is prohibited because of religious beliefs and respect. But every time I went close to the mountain or saw its heavenly view, I imagined hugging it.

Imaginations and dreams were part of my life when I was growing up. However, as I got older, I noticed changes occurring in my body and this was a very weird experience for me. It was shameful for me to ask my parents about these physical changes and even my mom never told me exactly what would happen in my body as I matured. Back then, our culture didn’t allow us to talk freely about physical bodily changes, or reproductive or sexual health; even now, the custom remains in my country.

Due to cold my cheeks were redder than usual on this particular day; I was 12 at the time. Feeling some strange pain in my belly, I also felt like my underwear smelled. I still remember this day! I was wearing yellow underwear and later at home, I observed a red color on them. At first, I thought it was a stain I may have gotten while playing. Then I started thinking bad thoughts—maybe I had stomach cancer or an intestinal wound and maybe it would cause death. I was trembling with fear seeing strange things in my life. I couldn’t be sure that it was menstruation because our woman elders used to say, “Nachhhunu bhayapachhi nidharma tika lagchha.” This means we get a mark on our forehead when we have our first menstruation. I didn’t see any mark on my forehead. To this day, I am not sure why they say it like that. I was too afraid to tell my mom so I wore three trousers and went to school. The whole day I was nervous thinking of the heavy bleeding. I didn’t know anything about menstruation, except that my mom would not touch anything for five days each month.

The Nepali word for menstruation is nachhunu which means untouchable. It means while we are menstruating, we are considered untouchable or impure for five days and everything we touch becomes impure. When we have our first menstruation, we are not allowed to touch any males (including our father and brothers) and are not allowed to enter the kitchen or prayer rooms for 22 days. We also have to use separate utensils. Further, looking in the mirror during menstruation is considered bad luck. Our culture has the superstitious belief that menstruation is the punishment of sins from our previous lives.

So when our house maid noticed the blood on my dress after I came home from school, she immediately told my mom. They packed some of my dresses and told my dad to go out of house so that I couldn’t see him. I went with our house maid to her home which was approximately 1 ½ hours away. While there, I was given a dark room with no sunlight and given one plate and glass to use for eating. People said to me, “timi aba thuli bhayau” which means now I am grown up. Ohh! Now, grown up means I had to be careful from then on not to play with male friends, not to stay out too long, not to go out often or at all. I used to cry when I was alone for being grown up—all coming from this one simple, natural physical change in my body. I hated that blood which made this sudden change.

At the time, I had to use rags because I didn’t even know there were things like sanitary pads. Using rags was unhygienic and I was also unaware of how to wash them carefully. Days were so hard; all of the restrictions were the worst part. On “those days,” I was kept away from school and feared what questions my friends and teachers would ask. I saw many of my friends miss school during their menstrual periods; I also saw some friends get married after they started menstruating because they were now considered “grown up” in my culture.

I was supposed to stay away from my home for 12 days but luckily my mom allowed me to come back on the seventh day. That day, I was given new cloths and new things. I entered our home after they sprinkled gold water (they put gold in water, as it is believed to be pure). I was told that I shouldn’t touch my dad for 22 days. This was extremely challenging because I was always “Daddy’s Little Girl” and couldn’t imagine not talking to or hugging my dad. I cried a lot and hated being grown up. Many people stared at me and scolded me, telling me it was a sin. This depressed me for a long time after that.

DISTRICT REPORT; According to the Monthly Monitoring and Annual Performance Review Worksheet for 2008 through 2009/10 in Dolakha, the estimated target population for health service use was 224,982; the actual users were 235,674, including immigrated people. Female health service takers are increasing by 2-4% per day which can be considered as the awareness of more health problems. Out of which, in the year 2009-10, there was an average 96 cases of menstruation disorder (in married and unmarried women) per month in the district primary health center of Dolakha.
There is minimal promotional health service through advertisement in TV, Radio, and Newspapers. It includes some information on major diseases but it doesn’t include any awareness on menstruation hygiene. Hygienic practices during menstruation are of considerable importance as it has health impacts in terms of increased exposure to various infections. Due to lack of awareness, hygiene is neglected by girls, especially in the rural areas. The renowned INGO Water Aid is one of the major organizations working on awareness of sanitation including menstruation hygiene.

SURVEY; According to a 2009 survey by Water Aid, the key reasons girls were absent while menstruating was a lack of privacy, unavailability of sanitary disposal facilities and water shortages. They are also seen to avoid going to toilets during menstruation as most schools do not have separate latrines for girls and most of them have missed school during menstruation. According to Ministry of Education and Sports (MOES), only 41% of schools in Nepal have latrine facilities with only 26% of schools having separate latrine for girls. To avoid humiliation, especially teasing by school boys, the girls would rather stay at home. This is one of the reasons why they lose interest in going to school and have poor performance results in school. One of the studies has indicated that girls are also likely to get depressed during their first menstruation.
The primary health education is included from class 1 to class 10 in the new study course. There is a subject called “Science, Environment and Health” in class 1-5 and after that there is subject called “Population, Health and Environment.” (This course is not enough for the complete knowledge on basic reproductive health. Though there are some chapters about the reproductive health, due to the new course and untrained teachers it has been ineffective. Also, the girls are too shy to ask about this and teachers themselves do not teach about it clearly due to our cultural barriers. And gender biases still exist in some of the schools in rural areas.

According to Govinda Raj Sedhai, secretary of District Education Office in Dolakha, the education ministry is bringing a new literacy program to adults. These adult/elders literacy classes will include three days of health education which may help woman to know about their menstruation and reproductive health, too.

NATIONAL HEALTH POLICY—the NHP was adopted in 1991 to bring about improvements in health conditions of the people of Nepal through extending access and availability of the primary health care system. The primary objective of NHP is to extend the primary health care system to the rural population so that they benefit from modern facilities and the services provided by trained health care providers. Under the government, there are three kinds of health services: 1) preventive 2) promotional and 3) curative health services. Menstruation hygiene falls under the category of preventive and promotional health.
GLOBAL VIEW; in total, women spend around six to seven years of their lives menstruating. A key priority for women and girls is to have the necessary knowledge, facilities and cultural environment to manage menstruation hygienically and with dignity. Yet, the importance of menstrual hygiene management is mostly neglected by development practitioners within the water, sanitation and hygiene sector, and other related sectors such as reproductive health.In many countries like Nepal, women are considered to be “impure” during their menstrual cycle. They are prohibited to take part in social life and are treated as “untouchable” during their menstrual cycle. But the truth is menstruation is a natural phenomenon that should be celebrated and an important part of the feminine journey. We talk about girls’ education and their rights to education. And when we talk about girls’ education, we cannot focus only on scholarships or building toilets. We need an integrative approach that involves gender sensitivity among teachers and programs educating mothers on the impact menstruation has on young girls.

There are many cultures in Nepal. Some of them treat menstruation in a good way and some of them treat it as if it is a big curse(more in the eastern part). The majority of girls learn about menstruation from their mothers, sisters and girl friends but what happens when they don’t know about menstruation hygiene? And what happens when they have knowledge, but they lack proper facilities for their hygiene? As a result, some of them suffer from depression and some get various infections. Many girls prefer to stay home during this time, which leads to their poor school performance.

My parents were unaware of this and I am sure they didn’t do it intentionally. But I had to aware them about it so my younger sisters didn’t pass through the same condition. And I am spreading awareness on the same through rotaract. I am proud to be in Rotaract(sponsored by rotary club of Charumati) and one of our recent projects was a Girls Toilet Project for which I am a coordinator, funded by the Matilda Bay-Australia Rotary Club. We have completed the project and I am currently working voluntarily in that school to raise awareness on menstruation hygiene, as well as other basic teenage problems. This is the first step of a big mission of mine! I am still learning and seeking new ways and ideas to include both genders. And I am happy that young girls don’t have to suffer in the same way I did in my early days of menstruation.

It depends upon how different cultures practice menstrual hygiene. But it is a very important part of health education like other major health issues without which woman empowerment is incomplete. It’s only possible to increase menstruation hygiene when not only health officers but teachers and parents play a vital role in transmitting a message of proper menstrual hygiene. This wouldn’t only save girls from many health hazards but would break the barrier to their regular school attendance. And we can play a most significant role through communicating with each other to create safe menstrual hygiene in our families and in our communities. This is where the woman empowerment begins…

This article is part of a writing assignment for Voices of Our Future, which is providing rigorous web 2.0 and new media training for 31 emerging women leaders. We are speaking out for social change from some of the most unheard from corners of the world.

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