A soul in Seoul

I felt so glad to hear when one of my rotaract friend Nabin said, you haven’t updated your blog since long time. Oh… that pinched in my heart. And the after exactly 4 days I got a call on skype from an unknown person, I asked him how did he got my Skype and he answered- ‘I am actually your blog follower’. It really made me feel uncomfortable, thinking that there are people who are following me on my blog. I was out of communications, in fact offline for my blog and websites that I am linked to. Thanks to the people who are keeping me on their lives as one of the part.

As I am starting to write again those too from a new place for me, in fact a new country and the culture. I couldn’t just not write about this. Arriving in Seoul for the first time itself is a great experience for me. I met wonderful Korean brothers who are friend of a Nepali brother whom I met on my flight. How nice of them to drop me to my University almost 1.5 hours far from the Incheon Airport. And invited me for the lunch, came to my hostel to see if everything is arranged and even asked my hostel in-charge that if I have any problem he can contact them. I felt like home, how kind hearted people.

I am an alien to this country- I do not speak Korean not a single word, I do not know the culture except some Korean movies I had watched back in Nepal. It’s not totally like a movie dude! It’s not like Korean movie or the tv series that I had watched. Though Seoul reminds me of Europe, it makes me feel very uneasy to go around, may be because of the culture or the language. I tell my self- ‘Nili how many times I have to remind you that its not Europe’.

Only questions I am asked frequently from my closed friends is that how will I involve in the social and community movements here, after all I am one of the very important person of Nepal (in their view). Seriously that is the question to which I still need time to find the answers if I want to continue those things with the same speed or take a break.

I can say- its great to be here in Seoul, great to meet my international friends from China, Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia, Philippines, Bangladesh, great to represent Nepal as a student I unable to conclude this post with any form remarks. I am still trying to recognize my own feelings. ‘Opsayo’- nothing I find but you surely wait for my next post, you will find it interesting.

Till then this lonely(not exactly;) ) soul in Seoul will try to find some answer.. Aanighasiyo!!!

Women On the Road; Driving with Dignity

When discussing gender discrimination and while fighting women’s rights, we must not forget the women in Kathmandu who are driving the Tempos: Public Vehicles. Over the last few years the number of women drivers keeps climbing and some of them have even started to drive the Micro Bus, showing that there are no barriers for women trying to work in fields traditionally dominated by men. There are even some women driving for international organizations like the UN and embassies in Nepal.

A tempo is a three-wheeled battery-powered vehicle used as a taxi, whereas Micro Buses are small sized buses used as public vehicles. Though men have dominated this field, now it has begun to be claimed by women. There are more than 700 electric tempos in Kathmandu valley and about 150 regular female drivers, and 350 are part-time women drivers. Among them are around 70 women who own tempos which they have bought on a loan. Now some women have also started driving the Micro Bus which is quite challenging, but they are really doing well

*****
“My work is my god, and it’s not a wrong thing to worship god,” Sita says when I ask about her work. Sita Thapa is 34 years old and is from Nuwakot. She is one of the first five women Tempo Drivers of Nepal, and was even honored by the president of Maiti Nepal-Ms, Anuradha Koirala (CNN hero 2010) in International Women’s Day 7 years ago.

Sita used to do manual labor filtering sand, when she came to Kathmandu with her three children 12 years ago. Her work wages and her husband’s low salary however were not enough to fulfill her family’s daily needs. After working hard for six months she got a job in a noodles factory for one year and then again in a plastic factory. Her life went on like that with little improvement. On the way to work and then back home she used to watch the women driving cars on the roads of Kathmandu. She never dreamt of owning her own car, as even fulfilling her daily needs was hard. However she used to dream that if somebody would teach her to drive and hire her, she would love to be a driver in Kathmandu. In the beginning she thought that only those who could read, write and knew English could drive these cars and as she had never gone to school she thought that it would be impossible for her to learn to drive.

One day at Sundhara, the heart of the city, she saw a woman getting out of a car after parking. She felt nervous to talk to her, but she really wanted to ask the lady how she became a driver. So she asked the lady if only literate people, who knew English very well, could learn to drive the cars. However the lady replied harshly that rather those people who could afford vehicles can drive one. That sentence pinched her heart, but she decided herself that she would learn driving one day despite the cost.

In the same day she heard the news about the first female tempo driver, Sita had a strong desire to meet the lady. However as she did not have her address or contact information she could not meet her. It was also hard to find the only Tempo driver in the big city of Kathmandu. It did not stop her from finding a way to learn to drive though. Sita knew one of the boys who used to drive a Tempo and asked him to teach her to drive. He replied that it would cost Rs. 5000 (72 $) and for SIta this was two months’ salary. She promised him that she would pay half of the cost in the beginning, and half after completing the course. The boy agreed, and she began classes.

After spending hard earned money and her valuable time, she learned driving. But she hadn’t had her own Tempo to drive it on the road to begin her new profession. She didn’t have driving license either. But luckily, Kumar sir, one of the tempo owners called her and told her that he will be helping her in all the documents work including the license and he even gave permission to drive his Tempo though she was very new to this field. The memory of her first driving on the road of Kathamndu city is still fresh in her mind and she still remembers being excited and nervous to drive in traffic.

Her first salary was Rs. 4000 and she had to drive from six am to seven in the evening. At that time her kids were very small, and she had to leave them at a neighbor’s home to take care of them, promising to bring vegetables for them when she returned from her driving job.

She drove Kumar sirs’ Tempo for several years and collected some money, and eventually was able to buy the new tempo with a loan in 2005. In between, she stopped driving and joined an NGO working for a marginalized cast and she had even thought about going abroad to work [The female population gone abroad for employment are 4538(2009) out of 242225]. However, driving was something she could never leave, so she came back to the same field. Now she owns two tempos, one of which she drives while the other is driven by a hired woman. Her monthly income from tempo is now around Rs. 25,000 per month (350$), of which she saves around $200 after fulfilling all of her family’s needs and paying the loan installments to the bank.

Sita’s standard of living has been improved. With her income, she has shifted her children from government school to an English boarding school and all of them are doing well in their studies. She also manages to visit the school from time to time to see their improvements. She can now afford to eat meat each day and also provides nutritional food to her children. Sita’s husband is employed in Nepal’s Army so he hardly gets time to see them, but Sita manages it all. She looks after the expenses and takes care of the children’s education. ‘I can proudly say I am the man of the house in practical!’ says Sita who has recently established a finance company for the women tempo drivers so that they can do some savings and even get the loans when they need. [ Wife's cash earning compared to husband's cash earning; more than husband's earning is 5% whereas less than husband's earning is 69.6 %(2009 survey)]

*****
Sita represents numbers of other women in Kathmandu who are making their living driving Tempos. Driving =private vehicles is not a new, but women are still new to this male dominated industry. The women in Kathmandu started driving tempos in 2000 as a profession and the numbers of women learning to drive have grown ever since. These women have been good drivers; even the traffic police say they follow the traffic laws and drive very carefully, as opposed to the male drivers. “We find very much less percent of accident done by women drivers in the Kathamandu city. We have even found that some accidents happened just because the men drivers tried to overtake the vehicles driven by women. Otherwise the accident cases are very few in women’s cases,” says Assistant Sub Inspector Rupa Rai.

Females are no less capable of operating automobiles, yet the stereotype that they are still exists. In the beginning, people used to line up on the road to watch women driving the tempos. But now they prefer to use the tempos driven by women. Many people in Kathmandu consider women drivers to be more careful than men and more likely to obey traffic laws. According to Meghraj Gautam, a central member of the Drivers Labor Union, these days there are a number of men who also help in household work when the women are on the road driving tempos, which has helped women to enter or continue this work.

*****
Central Bureau of Statistics in the Nepal Labor Force Survey 2008, second survey (the first of which was done in 1998): The involvement of men in household work has increased by 9%. Looking at men’s involvement in household work over the last 15 years, they have spent 5-7 hours a week whereas women spent 23.5 hours a week. The numbers of families with female ownership on house has also increased from 49.8 percent to 63.2 in 10 years in 2008. Among the 417434 total households in Nepal, there are 32766 female ownerships with house, land and livestock(2001). Percent of literate women has increased from 35.8 % to 53.1 percent. The number of women who have never been to school has been decreased 75.7 percent to 58.2 which is very much acceptable. The women who are financially active are 66 % (40 hours a week).
*****

Tempos are easy to operate and are safe, and one can earn good money from driving them, which are maybe some of the reasons why women are attracted to this industry. The tempo working day- 6 am to 7 pm, is also a comfortable time for women. They also manage to have enough time for lunch and to prepare dinner in the evening after work. Tempo driving has employed many house wives and girls who are in the capital in search of employment.

This is also true that being a woman in the driving industry is not so easy in this society. They have to face rude passengers and the harsh owners of the tempos. If they make some mistakes, people say it is due to gender differences. There are some challenges too, for example; people think that women in this profession are not good- morally. Women in the driving profession also feel that they should be given a literacy program so that they could understand the terms in this field. And they also feel the lack of literate people in this field. The lack of literate people has created the stereotype that this is the work of only illiterate people who do not have any other options except entering into this field. People say that men are born stronger and women are weak and are not able to do these challenging jobs. However women like Sita are proving them wrong.

*****
Women are employed in many work fields these days. Comparing to men’s involvements, women involvements are still less in many fields [Women in civil service till 2009 were 8769 out of 78138 of total number]. Owning the shops, selling vegetables, working on wedges, garments factory are the major areas [Women involved in manufacturing (2006/7 survey) make up 17.6 % of the industry] where we can see the female involvements is high. Driving, however, is something apart from all of these kinds of job. Many people still consider it a man’s profession.

The women in the driving profession are more confident and are even managing their families. Binita Shrestha, 29 years old, drives for the Swiss ambassador in Kathmandu now, after driving her tempo for one and a half years. She agrees that women are brought up in an environment where women are taught that they are only born for household work, not for outside jobs. But working in this field for the last few years, she has learned many things and is even able to fix mechanical problems of the vehicles. She earns Rs. 25,000 per month (358$). Gyanu Maya Lama, 22 years old, was once in Qatar doing manual labor, but now she is more satisfied driving the Tempo in Kathmandu- earning better money to fulfill her daily needs and also living with the dignity in her own country.
*****

“There are good foreign donors who spend money for the driving training for women but these funds have been misused by some people by showing the false records. It has been seen necessary that donors should check the documents carefully and should consult the related people before sending the fund otherwise men would be selling the women’s name and the funds would be misused as it has been done by some,” says Sita Thapa who has also been a member of Electric Vehicle Association of Nepal (EVAN) for some years.

The government also should give more facilities for women, so they have easy and affordable access to learn to drive and be in this growing profession. The women in the driving industry are a testimony to the empowerment of women in this country where women have been discriminated in many ways. If people accept women in as tempo drivers more easily, then this can encourage women to enter into many other fields where women have traditionally been excluded [Women judges in court (2009) are 5 out of 219 of total numbers of judges and Women in Police Service are 2999 out of 55259 polices in Nepal (2009)].

Hopefully the new constitution will also include some facilities for women to have opportunities in different fields in Nepal [out of 601 constituent assembly members, the female number is 197 which is the new hope for women of Nepal being represented in decision making levels]. It is time to break the stereotypes that women are only born to be involved in household work. By encouraging women to be in other fields and by supporting the women who are already doing these challenging jobs, female empowerment can continue and gender discrimination may decrease.

Creating equity is most important to create and maintain equality in the society either it is for women climbing world’s highest Mountain-Mt. Everest or for women driving Tempos on the road of the city.

This article is part of a writing assignment for Voices of Our Future, which is providing rigorous web 2.0 and new media training for 30 emerging women leaders. We are speaking out for social change from some of the most unheard regions of the world.(http://worldpulse.com/node/36204)

My Role Model

They asked me to choose one

But I am confused whom to choose

Anuradha, sapana or oprah

Florance nightingale or soniya gandi

Or chandani, a girl of 25 from rukum

Spreading youth awareness

Or my mom for letting me to go school

In spite of not knowing single alphabet

I am inspired

I am impressed

I am touched by their stories

I have admired each one of them

We can never be only one

We can never have only one story

It’s the life of many stories

It’s the life of many roles

It teaches many things

It makes to become many one

Sometimes healer

Sometimes inspiration

Sometimes confidence & patience

Sometimes determination

And I salute all of them

I praise all of them

For walking the extra miles

For crossing the extra heights

If time makes me

I will become all of them

If time lets me

I will become one of them

Observing an emotional state of mind!!!

Greek philosopher Aristotle had said, “Anyone can become angry…. That is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and the right way….this is not easy.” I think what Aristotle had said is very true, and in my case I normally don’t react to the things what people do with their lives. It’s their choice how they want to live their life. But I wonder is it fair in friendship or in any other relationship!! If some of our friends are going to the wrong direction and we live indifferent to their lives, will it be ok? I think not. I know everyone has the same freedom to live their life, the freedom to express feelings, freedom to speak, freedom to the entertainment… and all. One of my friend’s behaviors made me so angry some days ago. I didn’t tell anything but I got angry and I didn’t speak to her as I was really upset. As a friend I had to tell her that she was doing wrong with her life. And she didn’t felt good when I told about her weaknesses and she stopped making calls to me. As a human being I didn’t supposed to interrupt what she does with her life. But I felt like I have to become rude to make my friend good. But her response towards my suggestions made me further upset. And the very next day I started judging my emotional status. Did my friend was the real cause to make me upset?

No one can make us feel anything. What we feel depends upon the way we look at the things. If we can control our emotional status or keep it on balance then we can take our personal & professional relationship to the higher degree. One of my senior had posted a small line on my face book wall post- IQ+ EI = success. We normally try to think about the IQ level in the matters of professional success. But the success doesn’t come to us only with the higher IQ level; we have to be emotionally intelligent. I went through the Google search and found a small article of Prof. Dr. Aung Tun Thet (UNSSC). According to the article, Emotional intelligence involves five dimensions i.e. self awareness, emotional management, self motivation, relationship management & emotional coaching. All these things are about , how one sees his/her emotional status, controls his/her emotions, move or gets motivated by own emotions to pursue the goals, manages relationships in life & helps others to manage emotional capabilities &  solve the problems. The way one does the things with his/her emotions is an emotional intelligence.

What I found in this article resemblance the knowledge that I got from the 12 days meditation of Vipashyana in Budhanilkantha. The observation of the feelings that we create from pain, body movement, excitement, joy or any other emotional activities had taught me to look at the way I react to the feelings or simply the state of my emotion. Every human being is controlled by his/her emotional state of mind. But what would happen if we control our feelings instead of being controlled by our emotions or feelings. The very higher degree of it would take us to the nirvana but we don’t need to go to that higher state of mind to get success in our professional & personnel relationship, what we need to do is that we have to observe, manage, control & react according to the right time & with the right reason. And it’s not that easy to control the feelings and emotions. One is always controlled by emotions.

Change is then not instituted and the status quo continues…

Whether it be in Egypt or in Libya or the protest and revolution that happened just few years back in Nepal, the youth participation was and is always very high. The participation of youth in the political process has been rapidly increasing over time and so are our concerns about current events either through political parties or from individual interest. However, this interest does not assure that the youth have been equally represented at the policy and decision making levels. As a passionate and important demographic, youth should be better represented when it comes to policy decisions that often so greatly affect them.

The role of youth in every powerful political revolution in Nepal has been remarkable and very much appreciated. During the revolution in 2062-63BS, which changed our country from a democracy to a republic, 80% of the participants were youth. Even in the past revolution which happened in 2007, 2036 and 2046 BS and happened to be the most powerful revolutions in Nepalese political history, the role of youth was quite significant and very memorable. Youth powers were highly used even in the 10 years of internal conflict between the government and Maoist faction.

But when it comes to giving youth an opportunity to be involved in political decision, the majority of Nepali people and politicians still think that the youth are not mature enough to hold such power. They think the youth lack comprehensive knowledge and they have little experience to be involved in political decision making. In Nepali society it is believed that elders should lead and youth should follow.

Personally I agree with what United Nations Secretary- General Ban Ki-moon has said- “Youth should be given a chance to take an active part in the decision-making of local, national and global levels.”

Though the major political parties have their own youth wings to encourage participation of young people in its activities, they still follow their predecessor’s footsteps even when the issues need to be changed. Therefore we have only been used for protest. For the past 1 ½ years, I have had the opportunity to work with student politicians. In all of my experience I have never heard them express their own opinions about change they are hoping for, but rather expressing their ‘party line’ or senior politician’s sayings. While students may have the potential to raise their voices in a unique and significant way, this is not always so easy. Often times, I find that we are controlled by the “mother party” and take the path of least resistance, carrying out the majority’s wishes. Change is then not instituted and the status quo continues.

Even though the youth’s voices may have not been properly heard (or listened to) in the past, the presence of youth in our national constitution-making process has created a new hope in Nepalese youth. The number of youth involved in politics has been increasing and so has the number of youth in central level positions of political parties. But we also need to be careful about ensuring quality education to the students in politics. They need to be given enough space and opportunities for their studies and qualifications to actually make them qualified for political decision making.

Youth are the agents of change and the greatest power in politics today. Youth have enthusiasm for new change, power to fight against bad systems, knowledge for timely improvements and the voice to change a society, a nation and the world. How can we even mention for example-The 2062/63B.S. revolution in Nepal or the revolution that just occurred in Egypt, and not consider the youth’s vital role for greater change?

The International Year of Youth 2010/11 can even play a major role by prioritizing the rights of youth in political decision making when it comes to issues like education, healthcare, employment and rights. When youth have access to share ideas and make our voices heard. We feel like we make an important difference! This is empowering and motivating to us as we want to help create a better community, country and world. Even at a young age, we begin to leave a positive mark on the planet!

This article is part of a writing assignment for Voices of Our Future, which is providing rigorous web 2.0 and new media training for 30 emerging women leaders. We are speaking out for social change from some of the most unheard regions of the world.

http://www.worldpulse.com/node/35228

being able to speak to reach out to the people is the first success of her life

by nilima |  December 14, 2010 at 12:31 AM

“I would give justice to those who have been suppressed, exploited and discriminated, would educate people and make easy access of food, clothing, shelter and employment for the people and would build a community where people would equally respect both gender socially and politically” she replied when I questioned in our interview on telephone- “what would be the first 3 priorities if you would be given the power to change the world?”

Srijana Karki, 36, is living in Nepal, and is one of, six children. She is single. However, single is not the word that people use in her community, rather they label her “unmarried,” and show her pity and negativity. However, Karki is proud of her achievements and for the work she has done throughout her life.. Her work has given her recognition in all the 75 districts in Nepal, as the organization she is involved in has branches in 72 districts but they reach out to all the districts. When people rely on her expertise while in Dolakha to work with and for women, it makes her feel respected and honored.

It has been almost 10 years since she began working to stop violence against women and for women’s rights. Currently she is involved with the District Alliance Woman Human Rights Defender in Dolakha. She, through the organization, holds training for women’s awareness, discussion programs with the stake holders and takes the domestic and political violence and women’s issues at the national and international level through her organization so that it can be seriously discussed and solved. She is also a member of Ambassadors for Change and also was recognized by the renowned organization, Oxfam International. Oxfam chose Karki to be one of the representatives from Nepal to Bangladesh in a program that recognized efforts in raising awareness for women’s rights. It was a great chance for her to call attention to women’s issues, and she also learned about the challenges facing women in countries outside of Nepal. She is also involved in politics. She used to work as a social mobilizer under the District Development Committee before, but her voice wasn’t heard when she talked about the real issues of the community. So, she felt one needs power to be heard and problems to be solved. Then she joined politics so that she could take women’s issues to the national level.

She was 18 years old when she joined school and she thanks her brother who was the only literate member in her family then, for letting her to go school at the time when sending girls to school was taboo. She only knew basic Nepali alphabets, but she got admission directly into class 4 because of her age. With her commitment to study, she topped the class in the next year but her journey of study was only up to class 10. Conservative beliefs and low economic status was the reason she had to leave her study.

With a great sigh, she talked to me about her inspiration to work for women’s rights – which was inspired by a terrible incident that she saw while in class 6. The memory is still so fresh in her mind, and her voice started trembling as she began telling me the story-”there was a woman in our village whose husband has gone abroad for work. And at that time woman were prohibited to plough land with the hoe, so she asked her neighbor man for help. But people blamed her of being unfaithful to her husband and being involved in bad relation with that man even though she was innocent. And one day all the villagers gathered and completely stripped the woman off her clothes and beat her.” Karki, was full of tears and helpless at that time. Right at that moment she decided to one day fight against discrimination and for the justice of all women.

She believes that being able to speak to reach out to the people is the first success of her life. She has helped many though it’s hard to tell the number of people she helped but she tells with pride-“few months ago a woman from neighboring village came to me and thanked me for opening her eyes with the knowledge of woman rights and building confidence to speak against violence and injustice and at that moment I felt great happiness inside me”, I could feel happiness in her voice when she was telling me the story and she again tells me-“This is what keeps on making me inspired to work more and more for women”

Except some, people appreciate, support and encourage her for her work. Her work has built confidence in her and it has made her more thoughtful and honest towards her work. But sometimes she feels discouraged because some people judge her by her gender and her marital status and tell her that one who is unmarried has no rights to speak on other’s family issues. “I have the same womanhood & love as others though I am single” is her answer to them. She even faced threats to her own personal safety by some people who labeled her a feminist who was destroying the traditional family. However, she never allowed this harassment to stop her work. She did overcome these obstacles and is proud for speaking in support of sufferers.

Though there are barriers, she aims to start a revolution against women’s violence but at the same time she wants to use non-violent techniques. She believes violence cannot stop violence.

While she was telling me that reading books is her hobby, I reopened my past memories of her- a strong and confident lady delivering powerful speeches among the masses with determination to create change. And as she smiled charismatically, I could see her as a strong change maker.

This article is part of a writing assignment for Voices of Our Future, which is providing rigorous web 2.0 and new media training for 31 emerging women leaders. We are speaking out for social change from some of the most unheard from corners of the world.

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[voices of our future-pulsewire-    http://www.worldpulse.com/node/32075]

My heroe – by nilima(published in world pulse)

My mother, a real hero , a true winner and a true achiever. An uneducated women from a low class family and a elder sister of 4 girls and 2 brothers. She looked after them so well and managed her life so well. After marriage while my grandpa made my mom to leave the house just because she gave birth to me a girl child, she had almost lost her hope. But with the help of my dad, she didnt even allow the society to interrupt on my education because she knew education is important. After leaving her husband’s home, she worked in Garment factory for living and my dad used to work in an office.

me with my mom

There are many painful stories of my mom and dad’s struggle to live in the society where having girls child was like being the sinner….but they left no chance to give education to all three of us! When our relatives were forcing my dad to remarry because my mom gave birth to 3 girls and not even a single boy, my dad refused and he continued to support us. My mom , has created the great example of a good house wife and how she has succeed to look after our small business without any one’s help.

And now, i am working for the same society to take it to the better educated height. One of my sister is a journalist and my youngest sister is completing her study of nursing and she wishes to work in the same place.

I can not say that the gender bias has been totally disappeared from my society but i can proudly say that we have left no efforts to be the good example of how women can also be the part of the development of the society.

If only my mom and dad had treated us the same , i would not be in this society thinking for the betterment of the same neither i would be in pulse-wire now.. raising my voice !!!!

A true hero-my mom:) and dad for being there in my mom’s struggle!!

and LIFE IS NOT THE JOURNEY OF ONE STORY TO HAVE ONLY ONE HERO, LIFE IS THE JOURNEY OF THE MILLIONS OF STORIES AND SO DOES IT HAS MANY HEROES and i can not forget all the heros around the world who have inspired me in one or other way. I salute you all from the bottom of my heart!

i am proud to be an women!!!

nilima